True statement: I do not know how to "tweet".
I guess with the small fervor going on (amongst late night comedians) over Jon Kyl's blatant lies on the Senate floor last week has me feeling a little left out.
However, I did realize I have a minority interest in this very blog and can post my ideas here. First of all, I want to say that in discussing this with co-blogger Elijah Moon, I actually wondered aloud if Stephen Colbert was coming up with all his tweets himself or if was getting contributions from his writers? As it turns out, it is actually quite easy to just pull a bunch of B.S. out of your ass (as Jon Kyl well knows)!
So without further ado, here are some contributions I literally came up with in about 1-2 minutes of brainstorming:
1. Jon Kyl's Capitol Hill nickname is Gollum.
2. Jon Kyl challenges Robert Reich to tetherball every time he sees him. Then he laughs.
3. Jon Kyl was "Soy Bomb" during Bob Dylan's 1998 Grammy appearance.
4. Jon Kyl lip syncs all his Senate speeches.
5. Jon Kyl calls in as "KylShot69" to Jim Rome's Annual Smack Off.
6. Jon Kyl thinks Derek Anderson should be starting at QB for the Cardinals (Oh wait, that is mine).
6. Jon Kyl shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.
7. Jon Kyl has subscribed to Barely Legal since 1972.
8. Jon Kyl was the voice of Mr. Bill.
9. Jon Kyl owes me $2.00.
10. Jon Kyl cares about black people (and women).
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