Professional Malfeasance

Yesterday, the whole nation, nay, whole world saw a public acknowledgement of professional malfeasance. Now, the liberal media is all apoplectic about the failure of the so-called Super Committee. Seriously, no one cares!

What people - from Zion to Kankakee - are really outraged about is the Chicago Bears going into the season with Caleb Hanie as their backup QB! How did their GM not take a run when Derek Anderson was available?!?! It's inexplicable. Now Jay Cutler is out indefinitely and you can stick a fork in da Bears.

If I were Keith Olbermann, I would say: Jerry Angelo, you need to RESIGN!!!

However, I am not Keith Olbermann. I am not making $10,000,000+ a year while thinking I am in touch with "the little guy". Sucks to be me.

And sucks to be a Bears fan... because you don't have Derek Anderson to save your season.

Lions, Falcons, and Giants/Cowboys fans rejoice!!

This Could Go Either Way

I believe there has been only one occasion have I felt motivated to comment on a movie commercial. I take great pride in my calling out of how awful that stupid Adam Sandler/Jennifer Aniston movie was last winter. Now the resident Furriners buzzkill (Elijah Moon) will probably point out that EVERYBODY could see that was going to suck. Well, I have two points to make.

1. That movie, according to IMDB, grossed over $100m. So, clearly, not everyone knew it was going to suck!

and

2. Okay, Mr. Smartypants, did EVERYONE know that Derek Anderson was going to make the Pro Bowl when he was drafted in the 6th round?!?! I called that. (Now go get your shine box!)

But I digress. Last night was the first time I saw a commercial for a movie called Young Adult. From what I can tell, a woman played by Charlize Theron returns to her podunk hometown wanting to see how her old flame (played by Patrick Wilson) has turned out. When it turns out that he is now married with children, she goes to a bar and runs into an old classmate (played by Patton Oswalt) whom she apparently never would've acknowledged 20 years ago. It looks like they spend time together and they 'click'.


Okay. This is where I am concerned about the plausibility of where they are taking us with this plot. I sure hope they are not going to expect us to follow them to the Hollywood-ending of Charlize Theron learns a life lesson that true love/happiness can be found where you least expect it (in the arms of fucking Patton Oswalt!). YAWN!! We've seen that movie a million fucking times, Hollywood!! And it never gets more believable! If you wanted us to believe that, you should have cast Hillary Swank! Charlize Theron is much too gorgeous to sell that turd.

Now, all that said, this movie is written by Diablo Cody (Juno) and directed by Jason Reitman (Up in the Air, Thank You For Smoking), so maybe it will surprise. This is not a guaranteed stinker - it's not like it's starring Cameron Diaz and David Arquette!

Take that, Elijah Moon! How many other people could see that this movie might really suck and might actually be good?!?

Rod Allen Again? Yes. Sorry.

Sorry, dear readers. I know it's probably not a good thing that I am turning this esteemed blog into a schizophrenic journal where Elijah Moon is doing insightful analysis/commentary on the big issues of the day and I am metaphorically throwing things at Rod Allen (and other nitwit baseball commentators), but, alas, it is what it is.

Last night's spotlighted Rod Allen comment was only annoying because of how he so blatantly contradicted himself from a different recent conversation he had with Mario Impemba. The Tigers were facing the Blue Jays and power-armed right-handed starter Brandon Morrow. Morrow cruised through the first couple innings which led Rod Allen to say:

Why did Seattle give up on a guy like this? And they got a reliever for him! Brandon League.

Now, truthfully, I completely agree with that sentiment of that comment. The problem is that just a few weeks ago - I can't recall the context but it may have been in reference to Joba Chamberlin (who has been a successful reliever after essentially failing as a starter during the 2009 season) - Rod Allen said he'd rather have a stud closer than a stud starter. His reasoning, as I recall, was that there was nothing more demoralizing to a baseball team than to have a lead going into the 8th/9th innings only to have the back end of the bullpen blow the game. I didn't agree with him when he said it, I don't agree with him now, but that is what he said.

Okay. Now who is the closer for Seattle? Why... it's Brandon Fucking League!! And as of this posting, League is tied for third in the A.L. in saves with 9 - and he is the only one of the top 4 to have not blown a save yet this season! Even Mariano Rivera has blown two.

So, again, I apologize. I will go down to the office of Elijah Moon and suggest he write something about the debt ceiling debate or Chinese currency manipulation so we can get this Furriners blog back to it's mission statement: smart political thoughts and Derek Anderson worship.

There's No 'D' in New York

It seems like many people are excited that the Knicks were able to swing a deal for Carmelo Anthony.

While it's understandable to be excited when your team acquires a superstar, sometimes it just does not work out (see Arizona fans with Derek Anderson).

I just don't think one could come up with a more shoot first/shoot second, no defense combination at forward than Carmelo Anthony and Amar'e Stoudemire!? Maybe Alex English and Kiki Vandeweigh from the Nuggets in 1980s? And let's just say those two guys don't have to remove any fancy rings when they go through airport security.

So advice to Knicks fans - it's okay to be excited, just don't expect to make any deep playoff runs with your current roster nucleus.

We Are All Worthy, Jon!

Earlier this very day, my Furriners colleague seemed to take a little shot at Jon Stewart. Just by coincidence, I also have a qualm with the esteemed host of The Daily Show. (And this is a post which I reckon will not win me any fans... unlike my many Derek Anderson posts which, by the way, are award eligible.)

In the past couple weeks, Mr. Stewart has had (for a lack of better phrase) a little burr in his bonnet about the James Zadroga 9/11 Health and Compensation Act of 2010 - commonly known as the 9/11 First Responders Bill. Mr. Stewart has called it "literally the least we could do."

Fair enough...

...however, I could not help but recall an interview from last summer that Jon had with Bill Kristol regarding our nation's health care system. The topic came up of how veterans are covered under the V.A. (socialized medicine) and that they receive this as a benefit for their service to the country.

It included this excerpt:

Jon: Are you saying that the American public shouldn't have access to the same quality health care that we give to our better citizens?
Bill: Yes. To our soldiers? Absolutely. I think if you become a soldier, you deserve...first class health care.

As Mr. Kristol said that, literally a gasp came over the audience at how outrageous is to say that the general public is not worthy of the same quality of health care as soldiers.

Hmmmm... I get the feeling I am not making a persuasive argument...

so let me put it another way.

I assume that most of these First Responders have health insurance, correct? Safe assumption I think we'd all agree (and even if they didn't, this would presumably fall under Work Comp for most). So why is there even a need for such a bill to cover the medical expenses of these men and women? Should not their respective health insurance companies be picking up the tab on these expenses? What... are these expenses too much of a drag on their profits so we have to go to the taxpayers to pay these bills?

So, okay... fair enough. I am actually fine with some of my tax dollars going to cover medical expenses of our nations populice - but I just wish I could get in that myself. Single-payer... Medicare For All...or even Public Option... whichever form it takes, I would just like people to recognize that all of our citizens, living our lives, doing the best we can, are also worthy of having our medical needs met.

And, by the way, yes, I am uninsured. By choice. Because I don't want to give money to the any of the greedy, morally bankrupt (and very much not financially bankrupt) private insurance companies.

Where Is The Outrage?

You know, I am old enough to remember a time when people used to get upset when lawmakers would vote themselves a pay raise. They are a bunch of bums! They don't deserve it! people would howl.

Yet, it looks like this week in Washington, our congress with the full support of President Obama is going WAY beyond a few thousand dollars in an unwarranted pay raise.

I am, of course, referring to the estate tax. Before President Obama's capitulation to the GOP last week, the tax was proposed to be 50% on the value of an estate over $3.5 million ($7 million for couples), now President Obama has agreed with the GOP to set it at 35% on the value of estates over $5 million ($10 million for couples).

I don't get a tax break for that. If you're reading this, I suspect you will not be getting a tax break. (The only I'll ever qualify for that is if I either get a huge settlement after getting hit by a drunk driver or if Derek Anderson leaves me all his money in his will someday for being his one true believer. *fingers crossed*)

You know who will get tax breaks from that? Members of congress. For example, John McCain is said to be worth an estimated $28-44 million. If we conservatively consider him to be worth $30 million, Mr. McCain (or his heirs more accurately I suppose) stands to save $4.5 million from the policy change!

That reminds me... one other way I could get a tax credit from this policy change is if I could marry Meghan McCain... she's going to be LOADED! (And she is already stacked!)

But, quite frankly, I think I got a better chance of getting named in Derek Anderson's will.

Furriners Civil War!!

No, no, no! I am not with my Furriners colleague on this one.

I hate, hate, hate this compromise from President Obama. And I will whine about it until 2013 when a new President is inaugurated and I am beginning to think it just may not be Barack Obama. He may yet be saved by the fact that the Republicans are bunch a kooks who still seem to not have a reasonable alternative.

Another thing that comes to mind is that there has been a lot of talk in my life about predictions. Elijah Moon had drastically incorrect predictions on the Chicago Bears and the St. Louis Rams. I have a brother who still says Rich Rodriguez is a great coach (had previously predicted a national championship within three years of his hiring in 2007) who is "on the cusp of greatness". I was incorrect that the Derek Anderson plus Larry Fitzgerald combo would result in a Super Bowl title (Fitzgerald really dropped the ball on that one!)

Yesterday was the first time that I legitimately thought to myself... what if Hillary Clinton were president? Did I back the wrong horse in 2007-08? Maybe I should have gone with Zenyatta rather than Big Brown?

Justice Not Served

I am a lazy blogger. I know it. You know it. The American people know it.

That is why it is good that I have a co-blogger who has three things. One being many opinions with a common theme: Republicans Suck. Two being the desire to share those opinions with a mass (or non-existent) audience. (Third thing? Non-transferable membership in the Justin Bieber Fan Club which doesn't actually help this blog).

Anyway, a couple days ago it was announced that Derek Jeter won a Gold Glove. This rather perturbed me as someone who follows baseball and knows what a travesty this is.

So I made a mental note that I needed to do a blog post about this injustice. I trust it would have been clever. Derek Anderson would have been mentioned. A good time would be had by all those who read it. There would have been a public outcry and Derek Jeter would have been forced to return the award because of the shame.

Alas, I do not have to write about this because Jim Rome did a "burn" on this topic that trumped me. So allow me to turn over the floor to Mr. Rome - while perhaps violating copyright law in the process? If I do so, I promise we will temporarily turn over the Furriners revenue stream to Disney (parent company of ESPN).

Take it away, Mr. Rome:

You know I'm sure Derek Jeter isn't about to give back that Gold Glove that he just won. He should. He doesn't deserve it - even he has to know that. How does one of the worst defensive shortstops in the league win an award that is supposed to go to the best defensive player at his position?

I mean what is that? Does baseball have a meaningful award with less discernible voting criteria than the Gold Glove? Exactly how did he win that thing? Based on what? That he committed just six errors? Let's not confuse a lack of range with excellent defensive play. The only reason he doesn't get more errors is that he doesn't get to more balls.

And guys who often win the Gold Glove do so based on the way they swing the bat - but that's not the case either as Jeter just had the worst year of his career at the plate. There has to be a better reason to give this guy the award than "he's the guy we usually give it to, he plays the game the right way, and he's a class act." It's like the managers and coaches who vote for it are saying you have to beat the defending champ convincingly to rip his belt. Yeah, well, the champ is lying on his back after a first round knockout and if that guy is going to get that award this year, it is time to re-think the voting criteria. Or better yet, actually create some. Or rip the vote and give it to people who actually do give it some thought and have an open mind because Jeter was not only NOT the best shortstop in the league, he wasn't even in the top 10.

UPDATE (11/12): I checked out Buster Olney's column today (was checking to see his thoughts on the possibility of the Tigers going after Carl Crawford). In it, he said this:

I thought (Gold Glove voters) were reasonable in their choices -- other than the fact that Derek Jeter was given the Gold Glove for shortstops.

Tony Curtis Died

If you're in my age group, I know what you're thinking:

No, it can't be, it can't be!! Wait... who is that again?

My answer: I don't know either. I think there was a Flintstones character named Stoney Curtis. This guy probably changed his name to capitalize on the success of the Flintstones. What a tool.

Anyway, he is apparently famous enough that his death is the lead story on CNN.com.

What grabbed my attention is where it says:

"My father leaves behind a legacy of great performances" actress Jamie Lee Curtis said.

Really?!? Your father died and your first thought is that he was, in your opinion, a good actor? (Note: I am probably being completely unfair to Ms. Curtis... I know she has no say as to what CNN considers to be the most important comment.)

Anyway, I guess it's okay. I sure hope that when I die, someone (Jamie Lee Curtis perhaps?) will make sure the world knows I left behind a lot of tremendous journal entries and a handful of adequately written blog posts about Super Bowl MVP Derek Anderson.

How I'm Like An NFL Team

This is a post that will be of no interest to our target demographic.

What is the Furriners target demo you ask?

I guess it is mostly 30+ liberals with an interest in politics. Oh, and Derek Anderson fans, of course. Judging by our hate mail, we also get people who want to tell us we're terrorist-sympathizing socialists too!

Haha... just kidding. We don't get mail. Well, we do... but it's all from me to my colleague saying he should familiarize himself with Washington, D.C. stalker laws because of his man love for Ezra Klein.

Anyway, here is my personal observation.

Recently, I have developed a passion for old school punk rock. This has led me to the dark corners of the internet where old dirtbag record collectors taunt one another about how they found an old 7" single from an obscure band at an obscure record store in an obscure town. A good time is had by all.

For someone like me who does not own a record player and does not pour over price guides of old records wondering if I'll ever find that single by The Absentees, the goal has been to find good new (old) music. I admit that sometimes this includes downloading free mp3s that may or may not be posted legally. And sometimes this results in reading about a band and deciding to buy a CD from Amazon.

This is where I become like an NFL GM. If I download an mp3 for free and don't care for it, I just delete it and don't think twice about it. However, if I have bought an mp3 and don't care for it, I seem to treat it like it's a first round pick who just hasn't reached it's ceiling. For example, I bought The Complete Eater after hearing Thinking Of The USA. The problem is that that song is awesome and the rest of the CD seems to blow... but I can't get myself to delete it. I'm like the Jets with Vernon Gholston.

In Honor Of Christine O'Donnell...

...and Carl Paladino (NSFW?).

It could be argued that Dan Bern is the Derek Anderson of folk-punk (well, folk. Not much punk in there at this point). He is awesome. He is underappreciated. He is awesomely underappreciated. Of course, Dan Bern has not been to a Pro-Bowl (you know who else has not? Brady Quinn and Matt Leinart!).


He has written a song for the Tea Party folks.

So, as a Furriners first, I present an mp3 for your listening pleasure:

Talking Tea Party Blues (live in NYC, 6/19/10)

Ricky Rubio Is Awesome

Another one for the It's too early to say 'I called it' file... but I will acknowledge I am dying to do so.

I am referring to the play of Ricky Rubio in the ongoing FIBA World Championships.

Long before the Furriners blog existed... I had opinions. Many of them involved Derek Anderson. Some of them did not.

One of the opinions I expressed around the office was that I was extremely disappointed in what I saw of Ricky Rubio in the 2008 Olympics. We were told he was a new Pistol Pete/Steve Nash. And although I am too young to have ever seen Maravich play, I consider myself a Pistol Pete fan... so I was excited to see this kid. I was extraordinarily underwhelmed - but, of course, Rubio was a 17(!) year old playing in the Olympics against the likes of Chris Paul and Deron Williams - so I didn't want to be too dismissive of his talents.

Of course, now Rubio is all of 19 and I admit it's still too early to call him all hype with no substance - and not to bring up a 20+ year old take on Larry Bird by Dennis Rodman - but one can't help but wonder if Rubio would be such a big f'n deal if he were a black kid from Baltimore?

Today, Spain lost in the first round of knockout round of the World Championships. The rest of Spain's starting lineup are all very fair NBA players (& Marc Gasol has improved to the point where he has to be considered above-average for an NBA center). Here is the basic stat breakdown for the Spain starting five:

Juan Carlos Navarro - 27 pts, 5 ast
Jorge Garbajosa - 18 pts, 6 reb
Rudy Fernandez - 15 pts, 5 reb
Marc Gasol - 13 pts (6-7 fg), 5 reb, 3 blk
Ricky Rubio - 3 pts, 3 ast, 3 to

What's the word for the Rubio performance? Underwhelming... yeah, that is it.

And, for the record, this is from the Sports Guy 2009 Draft Day Diary:

5:03: ... An orgasmic Fraschilla says Rubio is "the best passer in the last decade of drafts" and he's "got a Gretzky-like feel, he sees the game two and three plays ahead." Totally agree.

We'll see.

And I will say that I watched preliminary round coverage of the tournament and the same Fran Fraschilla was decidly non-orgasmic when saying that it was time for Rubio to start becoming a dominant player rather than just a vat of potential.

Did You Know?

In the past three seasons:

Matt Leinart has three touchdown passes in 218 attempts. That is against eight interceptions.

Why is anyone surprised that he is crashing and burning?

Is It Just Me... Or Is Duberstein Bi-Polar?

Okay, I'm late with this one but I wanted to talk a little more about Ken Duberstein's appearance on Charlie Rose on 8/19. (See the first mention of it here.)

As I may or may not have mentioned on that post, Mr. Duberstein has strong conservative credentials but seemed, for the most part, to be offering sincere critiques of Barack Obama (and his administration) - as opposed to using only Frank Luntz approved talking points that is so often the methodology of Republican leadership (You know 'em: McConnell, Boehner, Pence, Michael Steele, etc).

That said, consider these two opinions expressed by Mr. Duberstein within the same 30 minute segment on Charlie Rose:

commenting on the lack of bipartisanship in legislation:

"There are ways to go about legislating where you don't get 100% of what you want. (Obama) got almost 100% of what he wanted. There are ways to incorporate the other side of the aisle that really would have made a difference."

and then a little later he critiques Obama's leadership:

"I think he is too much of a legislator and not as much of an executive... that he tries to acquiesce and get everybody together and on board rather than saying 'this is the principle, this is what I want, let's go do it and fight for it'. There may be a little bit too much give rather than give-and-take. But the mentality is one of much more accomodation than it is the forceful 'this is what I want, this is the direction we're gonna go in."


So there you have it. According to Mr. Duberstein, President Obama is a apparently a wimp who nevertheless succeeds in getting nearly 100% of what he wants.

By the way, if I can push back against his first premise... he gets "nearly 100% of what he wants"?!!? Then why no 'Public Option' in the health care bill? Why is Gitmo still open (with no prospects for closing anytime soon)? Why is 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' still the law of the land? Why has the energy bill been dropped from the Senate's agenda? Why no comprehensive immigration reform? Why are the White Sox dropping the standings?

I hope Obama wants Matt Leinart to start for the Arizona Cardinals - because then I could be sure it will never happen!

I Call Truth!

I beg your forgiveness for reporting on something that I'm sure all the Furriners readers have already seen but, in the event that anyone has missed it, I will report that there's a video posted over at the Arizona Cardinals team page over at ESPN.com which includes this interaction between host Trey Wingo and NFL analyst Darren Woodson:

TW: (Arizona) is built to win and win in that division now. Can Matt Leinart be that quarterback for them?

DW: I don't think so right now. When you look at quarterbacks around the league, you'd better have one of these three qualities:

1) you'd better be athletic (Donovan McNabb)
2) a very smart quarterback (Peyton Manning)
3) a big arm (Brett Favre)

Right now, Matt Leinart doesn't have any of the three.

TW: Of those three things you mentioned, which is he most likely to be able to get to through hard work and off-season conditioning and working with the coaching staff?

DW: He'd better spend some time with Peyton Manning! ... He's never going to have that athletic ability. He's never going to be a guy who's going to increase his arm strength.

Well said, Darren!

As for Derek Anderson:

Big Arm? Check.
Smart? Check.
Athletic? Well, let's not get crazy here! He moves as well as Tom Brady... let's just put it that way.

A.A.D.A.F.C.

I, er, I mean we NEVER actually make it to #4 on the agenda.

I Have a Bad, Bad Feeling

It is perhaps difficult to argue that Jennifer Granholm has been a successful governor of Michigan. Here at Furriners, we rely on statistics and provable facts... which, as our banner says, is why we are not Republicans. (FUN FACTS: Derek Anderson threw 29 touchdown passes in 2007. Troy Aikman had a career high of 23.) And the stats aren't necessarily in Granholm's favor.

Well, in November, Michigan will be electing a new governor (Granholm can not run again due to term-limits). It seems as though all polls suggest the Republicans have an outstanding shot at winning. But wait... it gets worse!

The leading candidates:

Pete Hoekstra - current U.S. Congressman. He is a pathetic liar. I know these may be "partisan" sources... but at least check out this link and/or this video.

Mike Cox - Michigan Attorney General. Total fraud.

Cox was on The Dylan Ratigan Show this week to talk about his legal filing in support of Arizona's profiling, er, illegal immigration law. Ratigan quoted a Gov. Granholm spokesperson saying:

"Governor Granholm disagrees with the Arizona law... Attorney General Cox's lawsuit is a patently political ploy in his quest to earn the Republican nomination for governor."

Ratigan actually asked him if that was true?!?!

Great question! Maybe he could ask Melania Knauss if she married Donald Trump for money or not?

Anyway, it should be obvious to everyone that the answer is yes (to both). Even FoxNews is reporting that it's a political stunt.

The other thing that really ticked me off was Cox arguing that the federal lawsuit against the Arizona law was a waste of taxpayer dollars. Well, what the heck is it when an AG from Michigan files to support an Arizona law? That is not a waste of taxpayer money? Moreover, I would argue it is a waste of taxpayer money when the lawsuit is a political ploy that has no chance of success. That certainly describes the lawsuit that Mike Cox supports to fight the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act.

The other leading candidate is an Ann Arbor businessman named Rick Snyder. As of now, I know very little about him. Several months ago, he was running television ads in which he didn't even indicate his party affiliation. That gives this liberal blogger hope that he is a reasonable guy (i.e. a pragmatic moderate) and, if the Democrats are destined to lose, he is currently my favorite Republican candidate (by default).

By the way, if Melania Knauss googles herself (or whatever) and finds this: if you get tired of being married to an asshole billionaire, feel free to contact me. I have an apartment in Ann Arbor, a Ford Focus, and a NFL Sunday Ticket package where we can watch all the Arizona Cardinals games! I'm just saying... think about it.

The Double Whammy

You probably do not know who Dave Zirin is. However, I have blogged about him before after he made one of the stupidest predictions I have ever heard... or, if you listen to him, he would probably say that he was just reporting was his "sources" were telling him. He was full of shit then and he is still full of shit.

So what am I talking about?

Well, he was a guest on The Rachel Maddow Show last night talking about the LeBron James decision to join the Miami Heat.

Here is a excerpt of what he had to say:

You're gonna look at the Miami Heat this fall and you're going to see the future of the NBA. Three superstars who are lorded over and then a bunch of players who are extras who make the league minimum and, you know what? Basketball is the ultimate team game, this is not how you win championships.

Hmmmm... first of all, who knew that the league has enough superstars so that every team will have three of them?!? Regardless, do you know what else came across the ESPN ticker later that very same night:

Mike Miller to sign with Miami Heat for 5yr/$30m.

and this:

Travis Outlaw agrees to terms with New Jersey Nets for 5yr/$35m

If you know who Travis Outlaw is... congrats you're an NBA fan. You also know he is not all that good (he's been in the league 7 seasons and has 32 career starts. That means he has started less games in his career than Derek Anderson.).

Chris Hayes (also from The Nation) was filling in for Rachel Maddow. He swallowed Zirin's bullshit whole and regurgitated it right back to him with this analysis:

So you have this situation where the Miami Heat and NBA basketball will be reinscribing the political economy of the U.S. The vanishing basketball middle class. And you have this sort of superstar economy with a few very, very well compensated tended players and the rest. This is the stake through solidarity.

Dave Zirin's reponse: "Exactly."

Ummm... is now a good time to mention that Brendan Haywood signed this week for 6yr/$55m? Is it okay if I point out that he is 30 years old and has career averages of 7.7 points and 6.4 rebounds per game?

So, note to MSNBC: if you're going to talk about sports... please call upon someone who actually knows what he is talking about! (Hint: my shift supervisor at Applebee's is willing to give me time off for television appearances. Even on basic cable!)

* By the way, the "double whammy" referenced in the title of this post refers to going with both the "Stupid" AND "I Call Bullshit" tags. Congrats Zirin... you are indeed a pioneer!

Displaced Starter?!?!

We prefer "starter-in-waiting". Thank you.

John Clayton posted a column at espn.com lamenting the state of backup quarterbacks in the NFL.

In it, he says:

Can displaced starters such as Derek Anderson (Arizona)... (my note: blah, blah, who cares about the rest of those scrubs)... step up as injury replacements and not cause significant drop-offs?

Come on, Clayton! John McCain could step in for Matt Leinart and the only way Cardinals fans would know the difference would be that McCain is more mobile than Leinart (and, yes, he is right-handed too... fine... are you happy? I'm trying to be serious here.)

Plus, I am convinced Leinart could eventually be deported. He throws a football like someone who grew up playing nothing but ping pong. Reasonable suspicion! He is a Chinese spy!

America! Fuck Yeah!

We don't typically comment on one another's posts around here. We spend enough time talking in the office. I talk about Derek Anderson and his ability to throw a 40 yard seam route where the ball doesn't get more than nine feet off the ground. My colleague talks about Justin Beiber's haircut. Truthfully, I think we're talking at each other more than to each other sometimes.

But his post on liberals vs conservatives and their respective views of patriotism reminded me of something I've often thought about.

What makes something "Un-American"?

Like my colleague, I have conservative family members. For example, my mother was adament back in 2008 that Michelle Obama was "un-American" (because of her comments about being proud to be American for the first time after her husband won a certain primary). I hate to go all George Carlin (or maybe I don't hate it all) on you again... but is not anything that an American does by definition become "American"? So, no matter what the conservatives may wish to think, America is not just capitalism, the second amendment, baseball, strong military, and Toby Keith.

America also includes the murder of abortion providers (oops! Bad example. Many conservatives encourage/support that).

Let's try again. America is prejudice, greed, poverty, crime, and Kanye West. America is love and hate. It is reason and ignorance. It is Ann Coulter and Janeane Garofalo. It is Howard Stern and Rush Limbaugh and Lance Armstrong and Mike Tyson. It is me and (most likely) you.

The point is that you can't decide something or someone is "un-American" because they don't fit your notion of what America should be.

P.S. The exception to the rule is America IS Derek Anderson and NOT Matt Leinart.

video: America! Fuck Yeah!