If we weren't so informed we might be Republicans. Or Matt Leinart fans.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Your Name Is Liar Cuz You're Telling Lies
That is quote from the Will Ferrell non-classic Kicking and Screaming.
It came to mind after reading the latest drivel from ESPN.Com's Adam Schefter.
Adam Schefter is bad at his job. This is what he had to say in today's blog:
(T)he Arizona Cardinals are the team that should sign (Marc) Bulger. He would be a perfect fit in their offense -- timing routes, great receivers.
Man, if I were paying for Insider status with my own money, I would be pretty peeved right now! In fact, the Arizona Cardinals are all set at quaterback for the next decade... please keep moving. (And this comes just a couple weeks after he argued that the Cards should trade for Ben Roethlisberger. Big Ben is a good QB but Derek Anderson has not been arrested recently. I consider that a plus.)
So, Adam Schefter, go get me a juicebox!
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Mel Kiper Is Going To Retire
"If (Jimmy) Clausen's not a successful starting quarterback in the NFL... I'm done!" --- Mel Kiper
He will be missed.
He will be missed.
WTF?!!?
I was perusing the interwebs yesterday, certainly looking for important information about financial reform or energy policy or how the jersey of Ndamukong Suh is selling when I saw this headline:
People Magazine Names Julia Roberts Most Beautiful Woman
At the risk of using a joke that every male driven blog will be apt to use: my penis demands a recount! This selection makes the election of Hamid Karzai look on the up-and-up!
Oil Slick In The Gulf
I was watching The Rachel Maddow Show yesterday and Rachel while discussing the ongoing environmental disaster off the coast of Louisiana, Rachel actually said this:
The slick is now 100 miles by 45 miles, making it roughly the size of Ohio
Ummmm... has she been to Ohio? Or even looked at a map? Actually, I know Rachel loves maps... it is an endearingly geeky feature of Ms. Maddow. But it should be obvious to everyone that Ohio is a helluva lot bigger than that!
Don't worry, Ohio, they say bad things come in threes and consider this:
1. The Browns released Derek Anderson.
2. The Browns waste a 3rd round pick on Colt McCoy.
3. Rachel Maddow states you are a fraction of the size of Vermont.
That is three... so I think LeBron re-signs with the Cavs this summer. Does that make up for losing DA? Of course not! But you guys will have to make do.
The slick is now 100 miles by 45 miles, making it roughly the size of Ohio
Ummmm... has she been to Ohio? Or even looked at a map? Actually, I know Rachel loves maps... it is an endearingly geeky feature of Ms. Maddow. But it should be obvious to everyone that Ohio is a helluva lot bigger than that!
Don't worry, Ohio, they say bad things come in threes and consider this:
1. The Browns released Derek Anderson.
2. The Browns waste a 3rd round pick on Colt McCoy.
3. Rachel Maddow states you are a fraction of the size of Vermont.
That is three... so I think LeBron re-signs with the Cavs this summer. Does that make up for losing DA? Of course not! But you guys will have to make do.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
You Heard It Here Second
It's not always obvious but I'm a pretty big deal. I am an ESPN Insider. All it takes for that revered status is having a friend with disposable income and a credit card. Luckily, I have one.
So I was perusing espn.com for what Chad Ford had to say about the underclassmen that have declared for the 2010 NBA Draft and this should be echoed all around the Ann Arbor area:
STAY IN SCHOOL
Manny Harris, G, Michigan
Harris has terrific skills, but he's still maturing as a basketball player. If he can go back to Michigan, improve his shot selection and actually lead the team to some wins, he's a first-round talent. Right now, however, he's stuck in the second round.
Let's make sure Manny knows this! We don't want him being another Marcus Taylor! He was a former MSU Spartan who made an ill advised decision to turn pro back in 2002. His wikipedia page doesn't indicate it but I'm pretty sure he's known to give $5 HJs on the The People Mover during the summer. I'm not sure we'll ever know for sure.
Anyway, Manny Harris... STAY IN SCHOOL!! U of M needs you more than the Turkish Basketball League.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Jon Gruden Is Still Stupid
Back during the season, I pointed out how Jon Gruden said that Brady Quinn was a good quarterback even though it is undeniable that Quinn sucks.
During the NFL draft, Jon Gruden over-and-over again made comments that I really wanted to take down for the record to see if he ends up as wrong as often as I think he will be proven to be. This one stuck out a bit while arguing that Jimmy Clausen would (and should) be the second round selection of the Kansas City Chiefs (#36 overall):
"Charlie Weis had a lot of success with Jimmy Clausen at Notre Dame"
Hmmmm... I thought Charlie Weis got fired and is now the OC for the Kansas City Chiefs because he was NOT successful?!?! I guess that Hawaii Bowl win over the University of Hawaii in 2008 must count for success in South Bend these days.
(Admittedly, as a Michigan alum, I would be thilled to win the Hawaii Bowl after the 2010 season!)
Tsk Tsk, Jon Stewart
It's no secret around the Furriners offices that I am a huge Jon Stewart fan. So, all in all, I loved this rant that got him national attention last week. I just have one small problem with it... this quote:
I've learned people are complicated, Bernie, and hard to categorize. I mean I've got some conservative views. (He's a pro-military motherf****r... peace to the troops.)
I hate that quote (even within a comedic rant) because by defining being "pro-military" as a conservative view, he is seemingly saying that liberals are not "pro-military".
Well, I am here to say that I too am pro-military. By my definition, it is pro-military to want to give the Armed Foces clearly defined missions with a chance to succeed, ensure that they are properly trained and equipped for combat missions, and then take care of them when their service is completed (wounded and otherwise).
Pro-military should not mean irresponsibly high defense spending, a hawkish attitude towards foreign policy, and a Support Our Troops magnet on your Chevy Tahoe. Those are hallmarks of conservative support for the troops.
I've learned people are complicated, Bernie, and hard to categorize. I mean I've got some conservative views. (He's a pro-military motherf****r... peace to the troops.)
I hate that quote (even within a comedic rant) because by defining being "pro-military" as a conservative view, he is seemingly saying that liberals are not "pro-military".
Well, I am here to say that I too am pro-military. By my definition, it is pro-military to want to give the Armed Foces clearly defined missions with a chance to succeed, ensure that they are properly trained and equipped for combat missions, and then take care of them when their service is completed (wounded and otherwise).
Pro-military should not mean irresponsibly high defense spending, a hawkish attitude towards foreign policy, and a Support Our Troops magnet on your Chevy Tahoe. Those are hallmarks of conservative support for the troops.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Revisionist history
I have heard a lot of rhetoric about the Socialist policies of President Obama. With this in mind I examined how President Obama Stacks up against President Reagan on some of the things people seem most concerned about.
Taxes:
Both Presidents lowered taxes upon arriving in office. Reagan on the rich (going as far to drop the top tax bracket below the next bracket), Obama on the middle class and poor. While Obama plans on raising the taxes on the rich (letting the Bush tax cuts lapse) Reagan raised taxes 6 times including a tax on gasoline and cigarettes which is similar to the new tax on tanning which I have heard referred to as a case of the government trying to tell us what we can and can not do by taxing us. Reagan also put in place taxes Social Security and raised taxes on small business.
Immigration:
Obama has yet to put anything regarding immigration into action and has not yet even settled on a plan for immigration reform, failing to live up to a campaign promise. Reagan signed the Immigration Reform and Control Act of 1986 granting amnesty to certain illegal immigrants who entered the United States before January 1, 1982 and had resided there continuously. The Act also granted a path towards legalization to certain agricultural seasonal workers and immigrants who had been continuously and illegally present in the United States since January 1, 1982
Nuclear:
Obama has worked out a deal with Russia to lower each nations nuclear weapons stockpile by 30% which has been met with resistance from the right with claims that we will be unsafe.
In April 1982, Reagan declared publicly that "a nuclear war cannot be won and must never be fought." He added: "To those who protest against nuclear war, I can only say: ‘I’m with you. In 1986 at the Reykjavik summit stated “It would be fine with me if we eliminated all nuclear weapons,”, which also was met with resistance from the right with safety concerns.
Deficit:
Obama has added a significant amount to the Federal Deficit to be sure – second only to Roosevelt - but next on the list are George W. Bush, George H. Bush and the Reagan. One big difference is that none of them had to deal with the shear loss of federal revenue that Obama has been saddled with. The difference in Federal revenue from 2008 to 2009 was $368 billion which is only about $150 billion less than the total federal revenue in Reagan’s first year and the highest single year loss of revenue in US history.
Bailouts:
For some reason the government bailouts of the banks is largely attributed to Obama when in fact is was put in place by President Bush. Obama made no changes to the program once in office. George Will recently stated, “bailouts began under the Reagan administration” and Reagan even authorized a government take over of Continental Illinois Bank and Trust in 1984. Government takeover claims have been a tenant of the move to Socialism rants aimed at Obama.
I too wish Reagan and Obama were not so similar however the facts show otherwise.
Taxes:
Both Presidents lowered taxes upon arriving in office. Reagan on the rich (going as far to drop the top tax bracket below the next bracket), Obama on the middle class and poor. While Obama plans on raising the taxes on the rich (letting the Bush tax cuts lapse) Reagan raised taxes 6 times including a tax on gasoline and cigarettes which is similar to the new tax on tanning which I have heard referred to as a case of the government trying to tell us what we can and can not do by taxing us. Reagan also put in place taxes Social Security and raised taxes on small business.
Immigration:
Obama has yet to put anything regarding immigration into action and has not yet even settled on a plan for immigration reform, failing to live up to a campaign promise. Reagan signed the Immigration Reform and Control Act of 1986 granting amnesty to certain illegal immigrants who entered the United States before January 1, 1982 and had resided there continuously. The Act also granted a path towards legalization to certain agricultural seasonal workers and immigrants who had been continuously and illegally present in the United States since January 1, 1982
Nuclear:
Obama has worked out a deal with Russia to lower each nations nuclear weapons stockpile by 30% which has been met with resistance from the right with claims that we will be unsafe.
In April 1982, Reagan declared publicly that "a nuclear war cannot be won and must never be fought." He added: "To those who protest against nuclear war, I can only say: ‘I’m with you. In 1986 at the Reykjavik summit stated “It would be fine with me if we eliminated all nuclear weapons,”, which also was met with resistance from the right with safety concerns.
Deficit:
Obama has added a significant amount to the Federal Deficit to be sure – second only to Roosevelt - but next on the list are George W. Bush, George H. Bush and the Reagan. One big difference is that none of them had to deal with the shear loss of federal revenue that Obama has been saddled with. The difference in Federal revenue from 2008 to 2009 was $368 billion which is only about $150 billion less than the total federal revenue in Reagan’s first year and the highest single year loss of revenue in US history.
Bailouts:
For some reason the government bailouts of the banks is largely attributed to Obama when in fact is was put in place by President Bush. Obama made no changes to the program once in office. George Will recently stated, “bailouts began under the Reagan administration” and Reagan even authorized a government take over of Continental Illinois Bank and Trust in 1984. Government takeover claims have been a tenant of the move to Socialism rants aimed at Obama.
I too wish Reagan and Obama were not so similar however the facts show otherwise.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Name Calling
Is there a test I can take that evaluates my level of "True Patriotism"? I'm not sure why anyone is more of a Patriot than I am but I really wish someone could explain to me how I can join the ranks.
The consistent name calling from the right does nothing to help this country. If anything it only seeks to further divide us. Calling yourself a Patriot is such an arbitrary designation. What certification did you obtain for such self revelry? The implication is that if I disagree with you I am un-patriotic. How can I defend myself against opinion? I would argue that the more likely you are to chastise people for being un-patriotic the more likely you are to be racist. The nice thing is that you can’t prove me wrong because racism, in the way I’m using it as a blanket term for a group of people, is completely subjective.
We all want what is best for this country we just see different ways to get there and that is exactly what our system allows – discussion and debate, not violence and hate. Your Socialist is my Patriot, your Communist is my Nationalist, your Totalitarian is my Democracy. We should spend less time on name calling which exaggerates our differences and more time listening to the other side. Even a conservative like Tom Coburn understands this.
The consistent name calling from the right does nothing to help this country. If anything it only seeks to further divide us. Calling yourself a Patriot is such an arbitrary designation. What certification did you obtain for such self revelry? The implication is that if I disagree with you I am un-patriotic. How can I defend myself against opinion? I would argue that the more likely you are to chastise people for being un-patriotic the more likely you are to be racist. The nice thing is that you can’t prove me wrong because racism, in the way I’m using it as a blanket term for a group of people, is completely subjective.
We all want what is best for this country we just see different ways to get there and that is exactly what our system allows – discussion and debate, not violence and hate. Your Socialist is my Patriot, your Communist is my Nationalist, your Totalitarian is my Democracy. We should spend less time on name calling which exaggerates our differences and more time listening to the other side. Even a conservative like Tom Coburn understands this.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Eliot Spitzer Eviscerates Carrie Severino
Carrie Severino is from the Judicial Crisis Network. She was on The Dylan Ratigan Show yesterday to discuss the retirement of Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens. With Eliot Spitzer filling in for Mr. Ratigan... this was not a fair fight!
The word "activism" is used rampantly (and) wildly without any meaning by the Republican Party when it comes to judges. The judicial nominees of the Republican Party are the most activist and lacking in legal understanding of any in the history of this nation --- Eliot Spitzer (The Dylan Ratigan Show, 4/9/10)
And Mae Beavers (R-TN) really didn't fare much better on Thursday's show.
FYI: the post title is absolutely an homage to this clip from The Daily Show.
Tiger Woods, The Media, And Us
I don't give a shit about Tiger Woods. But it's Masters Week and (seemingly) all eyes are on Woods. But this is not really a post about him.
On Friday night, I stumbled across Larry King Live where Jesse Ventura was filling in for Mr. King. At some point the conversation turned to Tiger Woods. Mr. Ventura blasted the media for their coverage of TigerGate in a rant that would have made Sarah Palin proud (she who has recently lambasted the "lamestream media"... you see what she did there!? That is hilarious!! *sigh*).
My problem with this is that Mr. Ventura seems stridently libertarian. But when the public en masse have obviously decided that they DO give a shit about this story and the media (which it should never be forgotten is a private, overwhelmingly for-profit enterprise driven by a quest for eyeballs so as to generate advertising revenue) works to satisfy public demand for information about a philandering golfer... who is really at fault here?
The answer, I think, is really "no one" (or "everyone" if you prefer). This is just market forces at work and it's completely ideologically inconsistent to be for a free market and for a free press and then be indignant when market forces work to appeal to the lowest common denominator. This has truly been a blind-spot for the conservative movement in recent history... certainly going back to Reagan and probably much further back... (Elvis on The Ed Sullivan Show?) The social conservatives (the so-called "family values" crowd) align themselves with the Republican Party who are, to their core, deregulatory corporatists; and, yet, the conservatives still don't seem able to make the connection between the free market/unrestrained capitalism and what is produced by entertainment companies and media conglomerates. It should be clear that I don't state this is as an argument for regulation... it is merely an observation that it's ridiculous to be for a free market and then be so irate about the market result.
So while the media is a safe and easy target and, admittedly, they don't always get it right (i.e. the lead up to Iraq War), I would argue there are a lot of journalists out there really doing a fine job on issues such as health care (Ezra Klein), the environment (Thomas Friedman), economics (Paul Krugman), world affairs (Fareed Zakaria), the wars (Richard Engel, Lara Logan, Michael Ware) and it is, in my opinion, a tired and lazy take to just indict the media as a whole when you don't like what they cover. Of course, if they do a lousy job covering the Tiger Woods Story, that I would not defend but I don't know if they are or not because, you see, I don't give a shit about Tiger Woods.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
The Next John Wooden?
Listen. I am a fan of David Duchovny. It is the only reason I listened to a recent podcast from ESPNs Sports Guy. Normally I have no interest in listening to Simmons talking to some d-bag about gambling lines and/or reality TV shows. As an aside, I will add that I tell colleagues about how awful a guest (i.e. Robin Williams) has to be in order for me to NOT watch an interview on The Daily Show. For the Sports Guy podcast, it has to be someone I REALLY like to get me to listen (Adam Carolla or, yes, David Duchovny). Okay, with that out of the way, I want to mention how Mr. Duchovny indicated that his wife (Tea Leoni) was upset that she wasn't included on the recent updated lineup of the so-called Diane Lane All Stars. Regular readers of The Sports Guy know that this is a lineup of post-40 hotties. Here is the lineup from a February 5, 2010 Mailbag:
1. Jennifer Aniston (40) -- I like having a single leadoff hitter with rumbling ovaries. Aggressive and unquestionably desperate. You'd fear her on the basepaths.
2. Sandra Bullock (46) -- Cheery veteran, good for the clubhouse, willing to give up at-bats and move runners along to help the team.
3. Heather Graham (40) -- Power, OPS, speed, the whole package. It's almost unfair to the others that she's eligible. It's like when Jack Nicklaus joined the PGA Senior Tour.
4. Halle Berry (43) -- Perennial MVP candidate, someone you have to see in person to fully appreciate her greatness. Our highest-paid player.
5. Salma Hayek (43) -- Fiery Latina, prodigious natural gifts, famous for people gawking at her tape measure … home runs.
6. Catherine Zeta-Jones (40) -- She's our David Ortiz, an aging foreign slugger who's four or five years older than listed.
7. Kelly Preston (47) -- Don't worry about the creepy Travolta stink on her. She's still putting up big stats, and the statistical community loves her.
8. Demi Moore (47) -- Knows all the chemical shortcuts and can help anyone else who needs advice on surgery or botox.
9. Cheryl Hines (44) -- Keeps the team loose, keeps everyone laughing, doesn't go for her own stats, gives us a hot-selling jersey for our Jewish fans. Can play four positions.
Starting pitcher: Diane Lane (45) -- Crafty veteran, namesake of the team, knows every trick in the book. She's like Jack Morris circa 1991. You want her out there in big games.
Set-up reliever: Maria Bello (42) -- Can throw one inning or three, has the highest "nude scene per movie" ratio of any decent actress.
Closer: Cindy Crawford (43) -- Still routinely hits 103 on the radar gun.
Coaching staff: Jacqueline Bisset, Julie Christie, Helen Mirren (all in their 60s). Why is it that women with accents retain a level of hotness that American women can't match? OK, maybe I'm alone on this. (Waiting.) Nothing? Let's move on.
Sports Guy got around this potentially uncomfortable exclusion by claiming that he didn't know Leoni was in her 40s and that she certainly would be on the roster. Okay. Well... I guess I would concede that Tea Leoni is hotter than Cheryl Hines. Perhaps hotter than Maria Bello. But if she breaks that lineup... it's only because Sports Guy dropped the ball in the first place! Leaving Elizabeth Hurley (44) off this team would be like leaving Larry Bird off the 1992 Dream Team! It's blasphemy.
And while she's not quite in her 60s... the head coach-in-waiting is certainly Kathryn Bigelow (58) (pictured above).
Thank you. That just needed to be said.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Sean Hannity's bubble
Is it just me or is Sean Hannity delusional? Here is a recent report of his:
SEAN HANNITY, HOST: The curtain is being lifted and the truth about the liberal movement in this country is being exposed. Their anger is at a boiling point. In recent days it has become clear that the only dissent the left tolerates is their own.
We saw earlier this week in Beverly Hills when anti-war protesters disrupted a speech from Karl Rove. At one point a protester attempted to handcuff him order to make a citizen's arrest while another shouted he would, quote, "rot in hell."
Now these protesters didn't have the decency to allow Karl Rove to speak. They didn't want to hear what he had to say. They simply don't care about the first amendment.
Sadly, members of the Tea Party movement encountered a similar scene on their way to a rally in Senator Harry Reid's hometown this weekend.
“Don’t care about the first amendment”? Is he serious? Has be completely blocked out the health care town hall meetings? Is egg tossing a bus on par with bricks through an office window with death threats or spitting in the face of a congressman? It’s now wonder they think there is a Liberal media bias. They are completely detached from reality.
SEAN HANNITY, HOST: The curtain is being lifted and the truth about the liberal movement in this country is being exposed. Their anger is at a boiling point. In recent days it has become clear that the only dissent the left tolerates is their own.
We saw earlier this week in Beverly Hills when anti-war protesters disrupted a speech from Karl Rove. At one point a protester attempted to handcuff him order to make a citizen's arrest while another shouted he would, quote, "rot in hell."
Now these protesters didn't have the decency to allow Karl Rove to speak. They didn't want to hear what he had to say. They simply don't care about the first amendment.
Sadly, members of the Tea Party movement encountered a similar scene on their way to a rally in Senator Harry Reid's hometown this weekend.
“Don’t care about the first amendment”? Is he serious? Has be completely blocked out the health care town hall meetings? Is egg tossing a bus on par with bricks through an office window with death threats or spitting in the face of a congressman? It’s now wonder they think there is a Liberal media bias. They are completely detached from reality.
Don't Piss On My Leg, Maddow! (And Tell Me It's Raining)
Recently, Rachel Maddow has been breathlessly reporting on members of congress who've lived at C-Street and have been paying ridiculously low rental rates for their housing. Maddow is indicating, with considerable justification in the opinion of the Furriners editorial department, that their rent is being subsidized and is therefore a violation of the rules against members of congress accepting gifts and not reporting it on financial disclosure forms.
The problem, as I see it, is the committees that investigate congressional ethics accusations have the same authority on ethics violations as Tiger Woods has on marital fidelity.
I mean - and I know this doesn't fall under the purview of the congressional ethics committees - Dick Cheney goes out on TV advocating war crimes and nothing happens. Unless you count his standing ovation at the 2010 CPAC Convention.
Or what about Ted Stevens? That old fuckin' curmudgeon (and internet expert) was accepting gifts from oil company executives and merely suffered the indignity of a standing ovation from his congressional colleagues upon completing his final term in the Senate. My research can not confirm that he ever faced any discipline for the Senate Ethics Committee. (And I know you might say "but Furriners... the Stevens conviction was overturned!" And I would respond... "yeah, and O.J. was innocent too!")
So, anyway, Rachel... keep up the good work... but my bold prediction... nothing is going to come of these accusations. You can't punish someone for farting when they are surrounded by shit.
The problem, as I see it, is the committees that investigate congressional ethics accusations have the same authority on ethics violations as Tiger Woods has on marital fidelity.
I mean - and I know this doesn't fall under the purview of the congressional ethics committees - Dick Cheney goes out on TV advocating war crimes and nothing happens. Unless you count his standing ovation at the 2010 CPAC Convention.
Or what about Ted Stevens? That old fuckin' curmudgeon (and internet expert) was accepting gifts from oil company executives and merely suffered the indignity of a standing ovation from his congressional colleagues upon completing his final term in the Senate. My research can not confirm that he ever faced any discipline for the Senate Ethics Committee. (And I know you might say "but Furriners... the Stevens conviction was overturned!" And I would respond... "yeah, and O.J. was innocent too!")
So, anyway, Rachel... keep up the good work... but my bold prediction... nothing is going to come of these accusations. You can't punish someone for farting when they are surrounded by shit.
Off Shore Drilling!?!!? WTF!?!?!
President Barack Obama announced plans this week to vastly increase off shore drilling.
What the hell?!!? I have not felt this violated since I was an altar boy in the 5th grade!
This is not the socialist, Kenyan, Muslim, who along with his mentor, Jeremiah Wright, was conspiring to enslave the white race that I voted for!
If I wanted off shore drilling, I would've voted for something truly unpalatable... the McCain-Palin ticket!
What the hell?!!? I have not felt this violated since I was an altar boy in the 5th grade!
This is not the socialist, Kenyan, Muslim, who along with his mentor, Jeremiah Wright, was conspiring to enslave the white race that I voted for!
If I wanted off shore drilling, I would've voted for something truly unpalatable... the McCain-Palin ticket!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)