I Want To Be Your Betty White

I think it goes without saying that I should be on TV discussing politics and all things Derek Anderson. The reason it goes without saying is because, quite frankly, no one is actually saying it. This post should correct this injustice. Now, ideally, I would be booked on The Colbert Report or Real Time with Bill Maher but, if I have to, I will settle from the dregs of cable like a CSPAN2 call-in show or The Dylan Ratigan Show.

The reason I bring this up - besides the fact that I want to be on TV - is that I was watching the "mix-it-up" segment on The Dylan Ratigan Show on Tuesday and Ratigan posed this question to his guest Alicia Menendez of New Democrat Network (yeah, I never heard of it either):

DR: What's the difference between (President Obama) stumping to give away the so-called 'doughnut hole' (checks) and President Bush a few years ago coming up with Medicare Part D? In other words, giving money to old people who vote prior to an election... particularly when the country doesn't have the money... (it) seems to be a common trait whether you're a Republican or Democrat. Does it work?"

The answer by Ms. Menendez was a talking point word salad about "taking care of our seniors" that is entirely not worth quoting here. But you know what she DID NOT SAY? Anything about how the health care bill is fully paid for! (At least according to CBO scores). That was the difference, Dylan!

And the conservative blogger, Liz Mair (yeah, I never heard of her either), was not exactly reminiscent of William F. Buckley.. Dylan asked her about Nancy Pelosi being heckled at a progressive conference and she said:

LM: Well, I think that unfortunately for Nancy Pelosi, we are increasingly seeing that there are a lot of progressives who are very disenchanted with the Democratic Party and Democratic leadership and I think that's something that we're gonna see consequences of in the elections this year.

Is that not tremendous analysis!?!? No wonder she was invited on the show! That would be like Barry Melrose analyzing last nights Chicago Blackhawks Stanley Cup win with: "Well, I think that unfortunately for the Flyers, we have seen that Chicago won their fourth game in the series tonight. As a result, the Blackhawks were awarded the Stanley Cup and the Flyers were not."

So, what can you do to help me? I'm glad I asked that for you. Well, I noticed that Betty White recently got to host Saturday Night Live after her fans started a Facebook page demanding it. I want to see all loyal Furriners readers start such a page for yours truly (get Elijah Moon on The Colbert Report). Don't worry, mom... I'll help you... just see if you can get your Bridge Club to pledge their support. You can assure them I will try as hard as I can not to say anything nasty about Sarah Palin.